the Wind in my Sails

      “I won't tell you that the world matters nothing, or the world's voice, or
       the voice of society. They matter a good deal. They matter far too much.
         But there are moments when one has to choose between living one's
             own life, fully, entirely, completely — or dragging out some false,
         shallow, degrading existence that the world in its hypocrisy demands.
                                You have that moment now. Choose!”
                                                 OscarWilde
 
I chose to pay attention to the words, thoughts, and feelings from the inner voice of conscience that always seems to be there when I need direction, whether I acknowledge it or not. I always have the choice to listen or to disregard the messages that we otherwise attribute to intuition. Just before I receive a message of any kind there always appears to be a pause in the endless inner dialogue or an interruption in the action, allowing me to refocus, even if just momentarily, on the subtle intent and message of my inner voice. This pause is known in Sanskrit as Ksana. Sometimes, when the world briefly stops, a great spiritual truth is revealed. I have seen what happens when I disregard the message, and what happens when I attend to its suggestion. When I choose to listen I seem guided to a better state of being, sometimes in ways that do not become apparent until much later. With experience I have come to trust that when I do listen, the quality of my life is always expanded or transformed in some beneficial way.

On the highest level, conscious awareness of our inner voice can alter the direction of life through spiritual understanding and by allowing us to move into that mysterious, unknown part of the universe where we more easily navigate through feelings, imagery, and sensation. Consciously choosing to pay attention to this aspect of the universe can lead to fascinating connections with others, opportunities, and expansion of personal capabilities. Intervention may occur in the heat of an argument, right before I depart by car or airplane on some trip, or when I am about to make a significant decision. It often comes as a specific alternate suggestion, but the pause may also be found between the inhale and exhale of a breath in the space when the universe breathes life into us.

I try to stay disciplined and ready for things unforeseen. Opportunity often follows open readiness. We may meet and encounter new people at any time or have our attention drawn to some grand new opportunity. We may find the right teacher or notice heretofore negative patterns gently dropping away. At any rate, life always seems to expand when I chose to listen. Often, without notice, I am stopped in my tracks upon meeting someone new, and without a doubt have an implicit understanding that this person either has something to give to me, or that I have something to give to her or him. One or both of us is there to teach; one or both of us is there to learn. It is a growth opportunity. So I keep on the alert and know that I am quite sane to attend to that hidden part of myself that has its hand on my rudder. As long as I maintain this course, the wind keeps my sails full and I seem always to be headed toward fair weather and open seas.