Know any Good Lawyer Jokes?

How about: How does an attorney sleep? First he lies on one side, then he lies on the other. Or: Why did God invent lawyers? So that real estate agents would have someone to look down on. Or: What's the difference between a good lawyer and a bad lawyer? A bad lawyer makes your case drag on for years. A good lawyer makes it last even longer.

So why is it that those in the legal profession are often regarded with hesitation, contempt and disdain? Is it because many of them are known to capitalize on the pain and suffering of other people in order to profit? Is it because too often we see them vigorously protecting and defending hardened criminals, even when they know they are corrupt? Is it because they often intimidate and embarrass opposing witnesses? Is it because some are ambulance chasers or because they charge outrageous fees? Or is it just because many go on to become politicians which are held equally in disdain?

For all the negativity associated with the profession, the simple truth is that lawyers are also considered the glue that holds a civil society together, keeping America and other nations from becoming anarchist states of volatility and chaos. And don't forget that some lawyers that do pro bono charity cases often stand up for those that can’t afford help otherwise, and that many other lawyers continually work to make the world a better place.

Then consider the fact that 59 percent of American presidents, 68 percent of vice presidents, and 78 percent of secretaries of state were lawyers by education and occupation. And that out of the 535 individuals in our Congress and Senate, most are attorneys. That’s more than one out of every two people in the American government restricted to a field dedicated to convincing other people that what they say is true, even if it is an outright lie or they lack evidence to prove it. Need we wonder further about the bad reputation of politicians?