If I Needed a Reason

The wisdom and wit of Benjamin Franklin are unquestionably impeccable so I cannot but agree wholeheartedly with his assertion that "Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy." But I believe it is the profound postman's wisdom of Cliff Clavin in conversation with Norm on Cheers that best justifies my having another beer, if there is ever any doubt: "Well, ya see, Norm, it's like this (in his thick Boston accent)... A herd of buffaloes can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the herd is hunted it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first. This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members. In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Excessive intake of alcohol, as we know, kills brain cells. But naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine. That's why you always feel smarter after a few beers."