Just for Chuckles

Hello, welcome to the Psychiatric Hotline.

If you are obsessive-compulsive, please press 1 repeatedly.

If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2.

If you have mutilple personalities, please press 3, 4, 5, an 6.

If you are paranoid-delusional, we know who you are and what you want, so please stay on the line so we can trace the call.

If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a little voice will tell you which number to press.

If you are manic-depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press.  No one will answer.

If you are anxious, please start pressing numbers at random.

If you are phobic, don't press anything.

If you are anal-retentive, please hold.