Life as a Sigma

 

I took an online test to see where I belong in the overall socio-sexual hierarchy. With tongue in cheek, I've often taunted that I am the alpha in the room, but have implicitly understood there was more to it than that. The test, only for men, is a series of thirteen questions that determines whether a man could best be typed as an Alpha, Beta, Delta, Gamma, Sigma, or Omega male. The test achieved a certain credibility when its results confirmed my suspicion that I am, indeed, a Sigma male.

There are not a lot of us – perhaps only one percent of all men; they are the rarest “type” of man. So I thought I would look at some of the defining characteristics of Sigma males to perhaps further refine my own self-understanding. Generally speaking, Sigma males do what they want, live the life they want, and are not affected by the opinions of others; they neither want to dominate others nor are they willing to take orders. Simply put, the Sigma male is a rare breed who loves dancing to the beat of his own drum. Perhaps that explains my lifelong fascination with another Sigma, Henry David Thoreau.

And then, there is my frequently being compared to Clint Eastwood throughout life, in appearance and mannerisms - another Sigma. There have been plenty of leading men in Hollywood that are Sigmas; they make great protagonists, and great antagonists; mysterious, charismatic, rebellious, self-reliant, and attractive, all: Harrison Ford, Vin Diesel, Forest Whitaker, John Snow, Viggo Mortensen, Eric Bana, Timothy Dalton, Keanu Reeves, Daniel Craig, James Dean, Steve McQueen, Brad Pitt, Sylvester Stallone, Christian Bale, and so on; others include Steve Jobs, Leonardo da Vinci, Giacomo Cassanova, David Bowie, Kilian Jornet, and Orson Wells.

Sigma males can succeed in any environment. They control their own destiny and believe they are responsible for their own actions and outcomes. Sigmas share many of the same qualities with alpha males, such as self confidence, but they tend to be way more introverted and do not thrive on social attention. They do not want to be a leader as an alpha does, and often shun social groups. Whereas Alphas can make friends with anyone and intimately understand social hierarchies and alliances, Sigmas go their own way and usually form very close friendships with few people which tend to last a lifetime.

Sigmas do not acknowledge the social hierarchy or pay it any attention, which can be frustrating for Alphas because they tend to look them in the eye and show that they have no interest in the Alphas social status or any respect for it. It is also frustrating to Alphas that Sigmas are very attractive to women solely on the basis of their intrinsic worth – looks and personality - nothing to do with status or money. High functioning and intelligent Sigmas will seek to get out of the hierarchy as much as possible by finding their own source of income that doesn’t involve having to perform a conventional job.

Sigma males have a characteristic nomadic lifestyle, never settling at any one place for very long. They love to go to new locations where nobody knows them, so they can avoid formalities. Stability isn’t for Sigmas because they have to move. They generally choose a career that gives them financial independence but doesn’t hinder their nomadic lifestyle, often pursuing a career that allows them to travel, explore and enjoy instead of sitting in an office cubicle, taking orders from a boss.

Such a lifestyle is one without attachment. It tends to have a minimalist approach, with little waste on things or people, so there is rarely a need to take responsibility for property and other people. Moving about a lot eliminates the need to justify one's lifestyle to anyone. The Sigma wanders around places gathering experiences and enjoying life as it comes. It is the story that matters most, making such a lifestyle very appealing to women.

Sigmas seem driven by principles and age-old ideals. They are sensitive, intuitive, and generally good listeners. Alpha males may be driven by societal norms, but sigmas are driven by a set of ancient rules, ancient values, and long-standing traditions.

There can be a downside to being a Sigma, however. We can take introversion too far and become socially isolated, even experiencing periods of intense loneliness if we spend too much time alone and don’t actively approach others. Sigmas overall do best when they force themselves to have social contact and stay in touch regularly with their closest friends.